Posts Tagged ‘Bangalore’

Views From A Tuk-Tuk

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Left, right and center views from the back seat of a tuk-tuk. Proving once again conclusively that Indian children are the most beautiful beings on the planet.

These shots were snapped from the back seat of a tuk-tuk coming home from work. We had pulled to a stop. I looked left, and saw this lovely family of three on a scooter, with the little girl sandwiched in between mama and papa. Smiles and flirtations from the little girl, beams of pride from the parents. Photos happened. Looking front and center, you can see what I saw: the driver’s back and a broken meter. Looking right, a tuk-tuk jammed full with schoolgirls talking on cellphones and looking at me with happy curiosity. Photos happened. I have never seen more beautiful smiles than here in India.

Wanted : One Ratproof Sari Basket

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I dread going downstairs in the morning for fear that my day will be hijacked. I’ve taken to bringing a tea tray up to my bedroom the night before along with the electric kettle; this morning I forgot the honey and had to brave the confusion.

I slide open the door and the maid’s seventeen year-old daughter and twelve year old son are rolling up their bedding and leaning them against the wall near where the trashcan ought to be.

People sleep in our kitchen and we don’t have a trashcan. A couple times a day I set up a new trash bag, and a couple times a day it disappears. After 3 months, garbage here is still a mystery: the walkway outside the kitchen door has drying coconuts and papaya skins on every flat surface; there is a plastic bucket with a mixture of slop that I’m guessing is for the cow that is rumored to come when you call, and likes the trash we serve; but the slop is mixed with plastic bags and old razors. Even though there is no evidence of recycling, I always set the plastic and glass on one end of the counter, and eventually it disappears. I worry that our credit card statements and used tissues are being dumped in a nearby lot and have become part of someone’s slum tent.

“Ma’am,” she says – this word often marks the beginning of the end of my workday – “My mother is asking if you can buy her a basket for her sarees. Because the rats are making holes in them. “

I stop mid honey-grab and stare, letting the concept sink in. Rats are eating her sarees. I didn’t even know there were rats in India, let alone that they were populating our house. I resist shouting, “What the FUCK? Rats. We have RATS. And they’re EATING her SAREES. Is this the fucking MIDDLE AGES ????”

Instead I nod, as if I’ve heard this question before, as if ratproofing my wardrobe is something I’ve done hundreds of times. I don’t want her to read the shock on my face. I don’t want to let on just how far from my reality this statement lands. I don’t want her to feel bad. I don’t want her to know that there is a big world out there where there are no sari-eating rats. I want to protect this seventeen year old mother from the harsh reality of her own life.

I leave the kitchen, and climb back into bed. I snuggle up close to Phil and whisper, “Rats are eating the maid’s sarees.”

“Hmm ?”

“We need to buy her a basket for her to keep her sarees in, because rats are eating them.”

“Just gets worse, doesn’t it,” he mumbles, rolls over and goes back to sleep.

I spend the next two days looking for a ratproof sari basket. I don’t even know what this means.

Garden Gecko

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We love these little guys and they are everywhere. In the house, on a towel, behind a door, and in this case, on the front porch. They do good things.

Unmeatly Body ?

ayurvedic
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Click the image to enlarge; then, you must read this whole thing out loud. With an audience, preferably, but even if you are alone. The whole thing. This sign was posted outside a tent by side of the road. You going in? I’m not going in.

Bespoke Bollywood

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SInce our arrival in India, I have been limited to, and quite happy with, a single vice: custom-tailored clothes. Raymond of India is the largest distributor of fabric in the country, moving unbelievable quantities of wool, cotton, linen, silk, and other ready-to-use textiles through their innumerable retail storefronts (sometimes multiple stores on a single street – you think Starbuck’s is ubiquitous back home? Meh !). We popped in one day just to check it out, and left having ordered 4 or 5 shirts, after having measurements taken and drinking hot chai with a half dozen store attendants. Each shirt, custom stitched with the fabric of our choice, was about 20 dollars in U.S. money. So this new vice is not as profligate is it may sound :)

Vice is no fun alone, and so I found a perfect co-conspirator in dear Mr. Andrew Cox. We have been endlessly darting in and out of Raymond for months now, having shirts of all kinds put together, and just recently, we commissioned a pair of three-piece suits. This was a fantastic adventure, throughout which the Raymond tailors were endlessly patient with us as we changed our minds, made adjustments, and generally made a confusing mess of things any time we entered the store. This adventure finally came to an end: last night was Andrew and Nina’s final hurrah in Bangalore, as they are moving to Italy; his suit had just been completed, and the tailor from Raymond made the delivery at 10:30 pm during our farewell party for our once-and-future Bangalore doppelgangers.

A Lightroom Tutorial

pam
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Step One: You will need a great camera, a copy of Adobe Photoshop Lightroom, and these cheekbones… Let me know when you are ready for step two.